*Originally written on July 30, 2014
I woke up on my side uncomfortable because my shirt and shorts were damp from MJ’s urine. After he and jalina got out of the bathtub, I took a nice soak. As I washed the scent off of me and cleaned, I began to think. As usual, my mind is always all over the place. I thought a lot about how this new life on the road was going to change everything for me. I’m away from my friends and family, my mother didn’t even let us say our last farewells to the people in Findlay.
If I knew that was going to be the last time I could see my aunt, I would have said more then “We are coming home tomorrow, so see you then”. I wish my mom would have told her, but dealing with my mom I have to find the positive in everything. I thought about how fun it’s going to be visiting different places, after all, I want to be a travel nurse. I can get a little taste of what traveling is like, but I wanted to be a travel nurse because I want to get away from everyone. The not too far way that’s why I would buy houses is different states so that I can have a connection to my family or when they are down they will have somewhere to stay. I wanted to stay away so that I can live my life freely.
I want to get away so that I won’t have to be treated like a mistake. The older I get, the more problem come. So no one can give me problems and I won’t be a problem to no one else. I can’t stand strong when she takes me down. Telling me what I can’t do, how dumb I am, and how I’m just like daddy. When someone says hateful things to me, I have to really show them who I am and how I am none of those things.