From Failure To Fearless
Growing up through the good, bad, and ugly, all I wanted is a better life for myself. Being set aside like leftovers and feeling the gravel while wearing shoes for awhile was apart of my reconstruction from a failure to fearless.
The root to my failure occurred when i was seven years old . I remember my little body
getting hot like Tabasco sauce, my palms sweating, and my heart racing every time I was called up to the blackboard. The fear of embarrassment took over me because I knew while I was in school, I wasn’t one-hundred percent there. My head hung and my attention was on everything except the teacher. I felt dumb and numb every time I walked through the doors. For a long time I believed that it was all I could ever be, but my life changed. At home I wasn’t taught that school was important or that I had to do my homework before I go outside to play. For that reason, I did whatever I wanted to do and didn’t have a care in the world. I didn’t know that I was failing in school so badly until, my mom showed me a report card full of F’s. I already knew that I wasn’t the brightest lamp, but inside I felt dead. My parents didn’t care, so I didn’t care.
Although I didn’t believe that it was my fault for a horrifying report card, I was still grounded. My mother made me stay in my room while my brother and sister went outside to play. I cried like a baby and looked outside of my bedroom window to see older boys fighting, cars speeding down the streets, and girls switching while they flaunted their bodies. Right there was my brother and sister in the center of it all. That’s when I found out that I could be more than what I saw outside of my window. I vowed to be a better sister, woman, and leader for myself and others who feel like they can’t be anything than what they are surrounded by. In order to do that I had to stop sulking in the shell of fear and failure to go above and beyond my potential.
Finally, I gathered myself together as I got older because I grew more angry at the fact that no one was there for me. Eventually I turned that anger into determination. I get up, go to school, and get good grades because failure is no longer an option for me. It’s okay to fail, but that doesn’t mean I have to accept myself as a failure. No longer will will I make excuses for my downfalls, I’ve learned to turn my pain into power. If I can go through years of misery for a bright future, than I can do anything I put my mind to.
Now I can walk with pride knowing whenever I fall, I will not stay down. No longer will I
ever have to live with a mindset that imprisoned my capabilities. I freed myself from all of the negativity that held me back. Those who say what I can’t do, I always end up doing it. My failure made me fearless.