Why Being A Big Sister Is Important To Me

Good morning everyone I hope all Is well. Today I’m going to try my best not to get emotional, but I really wanted to touch on sisterhood. My mother has four children and my father has three now and out of all I have the biggest weight of them all, that is being the oldest. Being the oldest is a huge responsibility it’s like being another parent. My mother eventually branched off from our fathers and became a single parent. Her being a single parent made me grow up a lot faster then I was suppose to because I had to help raise my brothers and sisters while still being a child.

<

p dir=”ltr” style=”line-height:1.38;margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;”>Even though I had a rough childhood and me and my mother haven’t had the best relationship, but I thank her for doing the best that she could with us. I haven’t always taken my job as a sister seriously because I was so focused on what was going on within myself. I remember having a conversation with my mom about me not wanting to be a leader. She asked me did that mean I want to be a follower. My response was stupid, I said no I just want to be my own person, never lead or follow. Now that I think back to that conversation I question my intellect, pride, and integrity. What was I thinking? No matter if I wanted to be a leader or not, I still woke up to my  beautiful siblings looking up to me. I realized that I am a leader not by choice,but by the eyes that look at me.

<

p dir=”ltr” style=”line-height:1.38;margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;”>I have a beautiful fifteen year old sister named Jalina who everyone thinks is my twin. Even though I don’t really see how people identify us as twins I do remember that my father has strong genes so all of his kids look exactly like him. On July 07, 2016 my father and stepmother delivered another munchkin sibling named Myonna  Me and my sister bump heads a lot, but we are close. Nothing on this earth will ever change my love for her. I actually find it funny how we are opposites of each other but we were raised together. She can dance, sing, draw, she’s fun and social. Then there is me: super geeky, boring, likes to stay in the house, can’t dance, can’t sing, works with graphic design, and likes to watch soccer and wrestling. What really confused me is the fact that my younger sister is fond of me and she has all of these good qualities that I wish I had. I look at her beautiful face and see so much yet she sees so much good in me. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think less of myself, but the only thing I could think of is why does she adore me. Our bond is special, I told her she can tell me anything and it would stay between us always until I die. When it was time for the boy talk I gave her my piece of the pie since I think my words would be a lot more effective than mom’s yelling.

<

p dir=”ltr” style=”line-height:1.38;margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;”>Jalina is the real reason why being a big sister is super special to me. Her being born three years after me just motivates me to set the bar so she can do anything she puts her mind to. I want her to feel like If I can do it than she can do it and probably ten times better. I want her to be comfortable in her skin and not let anyone make her feel like she can’t do anything, not even me. I wasn’t always the best daughter or sister and that’s why it’s so important to me. To learn from my mistakes. I was known as the smart mouthed rule breaker. That is one of the many reasons why me and my mom didn’t get along. I would complain about how hard she was on me and how she let the others get away with stuff. That still didn’t give me a logical reason to break the rules. I did it out of anger. If you ask her today about my childhood I wouldn’t be surprised if her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Now she can’t say she didn’t do a good job. I’ve never drank,did drugs, smoke, had sex, went to a party without her consent, or put my hands on her. I would get my behind tore up on so many occasions I thought my booty would eventually fall off. The beatings made me better and it was discipline that made me stronger. I had to be strong for those faces that watched. I’m not expecting any of my siblings to be like me, but to go after whatever their hearts desire. That is my goal right now, to always be the rock that they lay on in good times and bad. Being a big sister adds fuel to my fire. I wake up everyday to go to school and work because I think of how me sleeping in bed all day could affect someone’s life. I thank god for family because I know I have something to continue to fight for. I’m a big sister and it’s a job I will never resign from.

~Arganise

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: